"Your business is not you. You are not your business. You're a human being—and if you don’t take care of yourself first, it will spill into every area of your life."

- Cari Briner

Episode Summary

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than IQ in Real Estate

When I first got into real estate, I thought success was all about working harder, selling more, and mastering the “how-to” side of the business. For years, I equated my value with how many deals I closed. And while I became successful on paper, I eventually realized I wasn’t thriving as a person.

Here’s the truth: your business will only grow as much as you do.

That means emotional intelligence—your ability to manage yourself, your mindset, and your relationships—is just as important (if not more) than business knowledge.

The Trap of Becoming Your Business

Too many agents fall into the same trap I did: your identity becomes tied to your career. If your business is thriving, you feel good. If you hit a dry spell, you feel like a failure.

But your business is not you. You are more than a Realtor®. You are a parent, a spouse, a friend, a human being—and if you don’t nurture those roles, your business eventually suffers too.

Emotional Intelligence vs. IQ in Real Estate

• IQ (Intelligence Quotient): The technical knowledge—contracts, negotiations, market trends. It’s essential, but not enough.

• EQ (Emotional Intelligence): The ability to stay present, handle challenges, manage stress, and build trust. It’s what makes your clients want to work with you.

The most successful agents I know combine both. They don’t just know how to sell—they know how to connect.

How to Build Your EQ

Here are a few steps that transformed my business and my life:

1. Separate your identity from your business. Wins and losses don’t define who you are.

2. Take care of yourself first. Health, confidence, and self-love are the foundation for sustainable success.

3. Ask better questions. The questions you ask yourself determine the quality of your decisions and your life.

4. Set goals beyond business. Don’t just plan your income—set goals for your health, family, relationships, and spiritual growth.

5. Reframe challenges. Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?” ask “How is this happening for me?”

The Bottom Line

You can master every sales script, every marketing strategy, and every negotiation tactic, but if you don’t grow yourself, your business will eventually stall.

When you build emotional intelligence alongside business intelligence, you unlock a level of confidence, joy, and success that no transaction alone can give you.

Remember: You are not your business. Take care of yourself, and your business will follow.

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