How to Use Your Subjective Experiences as an Advantage
“Communication is not what you say. It’s the response you get.”
- Dan Rochon
Episode Summary
Every conversation you have lands in someone else’s world. That world is shaped by their personal filters. These filters come from experiences, education, and culture. They influence how they hear your words and what meaning they attach to them.
Most salespeople focus on what they say. The real key is understanding how the other person receives it.
Why Conversations Go Wrong
The Filter That Shapes Meaning
Your message doesn’t arrive in someone’s mind untouched. It passes through their experiences, beliefs, and memories. Their subjective experience gives your words a meaning you may not have intended.
Two people can be in the same room, hear the same sentence, and interpret it in two different ways. That’s normal. It’s human. And it’s why communication requires awareness, not assumptions.
The Brain’s Easy Path
The human mind takes the simplest route. When someone misunderstands you, the quickest reaction is to blame them. But that reaction blocks growth.
Communication is the response you get. When you take responsibility for that response, you gain control. You gain clarity. You gain influence.
How Subjective Experience Shows Up in Real Conversations
Different Backgrounds, Same Lesson
Recently, my trainer and I were laughing about our environments from the week before. She spent time in what she jokingly called redneck country. I spent time in the inner city of Baltimore. Two completely different worlds, and both shaping the way people interpret communication.
These differences aren’t about race or labels. They’re about upbringing, surroundings, and the experience each person carries with them.
Speaking Into Someone Else’s World
When you communicate inside someone else’s frame instead of forcing them into yours, everything changes.
Appointments stick.
Trust builds.
Conversations move forward.
This is one of the biggest advantages you can develop as a salesperson.
Taking Responsibility Creates Influence
The Shift That Changes Everything
The powerful move is not asking, “Why didn’t they understand me?”
The powerful move is asking, “How can I communicate in a way they can receive?”
Adjusting your message is not weakness. It’s leadership.
Communication Is the Response You Get
You can intend one thing and receive a completely different reaction. That reaction is still communication. Your job is to refine it until the meaning matches the message.
This level of responsibility gives you influence that most salespeople never develop.
Final Thoughts
Every client you meet filters information through their own subjective experience. When you learn to communicate with awareness of their world, not just yours, you create real connection.
Be grateful. Make good choices. Help someone. Have the best day of your life. And you’ll find a listing too.
Ready to Improve the Way You Communicate With Clients?
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